


Creepy Captain James - The Medic Man

by Hoplite39



Category: Our Girl
Genre: Gen, Humor, One Shot, Out of Character, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29657886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hoplite39/pseuds/Hoplite39
Summary: After completing her medic training, new Our Girl Maisie Richards receives an unexpected and disturbing proposition. An attempt at a humorous parody/ Romance of the show.





	Creepy Captain James - The Medic Man

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN OUR GIRL. THIS IS JUST FOR FUN.

CREEPY CAPTAIN JAMES – THE MEDIC MAN

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Our Girl. This is just for fun.

Maisie Richards felt exhausted, but satisfied, as she walked towards the barracks of 2 section. It was her first day working as a British army medic on tour in West Africa. Her work assisting the NGO staff in the refugee camp had been hard and challenging, but she really felt she had contributed to the well-being of the unfortunate children and other civilians caught in the war zone.

As she walked past the CO quarters, she saw the familiar figure of Captain James at the door.

"Richards, on me." Said Captain James.

"Yes, sir." She replied and walk over to him.

"How did your first day go?" He asked in his usual firm but suave way.

"I think it went well sir. We will be able to help these people."

Captain James smiled and tapped her gently on the shoulder. "You did well today, Maisie. I watched you work. All of us in 2 section are pleased you could rejoin us as our medic."

"Thanks, sir." Maisie was buzzing, delighted with the praise of her CO.

"I'm especially glad you're here, Maisie. And I''m glad I caught you." The captain put his hand on her shoulder. "I need to talk to you about something."

"Yes, bossman?"

"Over the past few days, I have started to realise that I have developed feelings for you."

Maisie frowned. "What do you mean, sir?"

"We work together as a great team, Maisie. I know that I can depend on you, and you can depend on me. I have come to realise what a wonderful special person you are."

Maisie was still frowning. "Sir?"

"I think we are meant to be together, Maisie." Captain James placed his hands gently on both her shoulders. "I can't hide my feelings for you any longer. I just had you tell you."

Maisie stepped back, escaping from the captain's touch.

"This is getting a bit weird, sir." Maisie said in confusion.

Captain James put his hand on Maise's shoulder again. "We are bonded, Maisie. Bonded by the dangers we faced together. Bonded by the death of Bones. You must realise that."

"Are you sure you're ok, sir. You've never talked like this before. I'm worried you may still be suffering from PTSD."

"I've never felt better, Maisie. Especially now that I have let you know my feelings for you. And I know you'll feel better when you inevitably admit your feelings for me."

"I'm definitely not ready for that yet, sir."

"I understand. But remember, I am always here for you and you can tell me anything."

"Thanks, sir. I think."

"And when we are alone, Maisie, you don't have to be so formal. You can call me Charles, or even Charlie."

"But I don't understand all this." Said Maisie. "What happened to you and Georgie? You were so into each other."

"Georgie and I split up some time ago." Said Captain James. "After the tour in Bangladesh, we were both given a posting in Wales. But we soon realised that it wasn't going to work."

"Why? What happened?" Maisie asked. "What went wrong?"

"In Wales, everything was too safe and easy. There were no humanitarian crises to deal with or children to rescue. There were no 3rd world brown people to help and patronise. There were no terrorists, drug-runners or insurgents trying to kill or capture us. And there were no charming doctors or dashing officers trying to sweep Georgie off her feet, causing an awkward, yet exciting love triangle.

"You're sounding weird again, sir."

"The truth is that we soon became bored and frustrated, realising that there was no passion, empathy or any depth whatsoever in our relationship. In fact, our relationship was completely devoid of any romantic emotion or chemistry at all. Eventually, Georgie left, taking my favourite chest of drawers with her."

"I didn't know that, sir. I'm really sorry."

"Yes, it was very upsetting. I really loved that chest of drawers."

"I was talking about you and Georgie, sir."

"Ah, yes. Don't worry, Maisie." He patted her on the shoulder. "It's over for me and Georgie now. And you couldn't know. You were occupied with your medic training at that time."

"Where is Georgie now, sir?"

"She's on a tour to Bangkok in Asia."

Maisie found herself sniggering.

"What's funny, Richards?" Asked Captain James sternly.

"It's just I thought you were making a joke, sir. You know, about George banging cock throughout Asia."

"It's no joke, Maisie. Georgie is very serious about her mission to Bangkok."

"I can't argue with that, sir" Said Maisie, trying to keep a straight face. "But what about Molly, sir? Did you not get back with her?"

"The romance between myself and Molly was a beautiful story of true love." Said Captain James. "But it was destined to end because…"

"...You shagged Georgie, sir."

"No, Maisie. Georgie and I were never meant to be together. It was a tragic error of judgement caused by the stress and trauma we both experienced on tour. But you have to understand my marriage to Molly would never have lasted, Maisie. It would have ended eventually. My feelings for you are just too strong. Once she found out I had such strong feelings for you, it was inevitable that Molly would take my chest of drawers and leave me."

"But wait a minute, sir. Why do you have these sudden feelings for me now, sir?" Said Maisie. "You didn't mention any of this before."

"I came to realise my feelings for you during our training mission in the Highlands of Scotland before we came on tour. Do you remember when I caught my foot in a crevasse and you had to treat it."

"You squealed like a big baby, if I remember right, sir."

"You were so strong, tender and caring to me. At that moment, I realised there was an unbreakable connection between us and we were destined to be together."

"I was just doing my job, sir."

"When I looked up at your beautiful ebony features and smelled the sweet intoxicating scent of your perspiration drifting on the wind, I realised that I loved you and always had."

"Are you serious?"

"I've never been more serious in my life, Maisie."

"But you never showed any interest in me when we were on tour in Nepal, Nigeria, Belize or Bangladesh, sir. Why now?"

"I have always admired your spirit, reckless courage and raw passion, Maisie." Said Captain James. "But it was when you treated me as a medic that I realised my true feelings for you."

"When I was a medic?"

Maisie pondered this for a moment. A suspicion formed in her mind.

"Charlie, was your first wife in the army?"

"Yes." Captain James shrugged.

"And was she a medic?" She asked.

"Yes. "Replied Captain James. "We served together in Sierra Leon, before she left me, taking away my son and favourite chest of drawers."

"Oh, my God!" Maisie took a step back wide-eyed in realisation . "I know what's happened. You've got a fetish for medics. Haven't you?"

Captain James looked at her sternly. "What do you mean?"

"Your first wife was a medic. Molly was a medic. Georgie was a medic. You only started showing interest in me after I became a medic."

"Don't be so melodramatic, Maisie. My feelings for you are genuine. I've never felt so strongly before."

"Me being melodramatic? It's you who falls for every medic you meet."

"I think you're over analysing things, Maisie."

"Don't give me that gas-lighting crap, Charlie. You have the hots for medics. It's obvious. You're a serial medic seducer. Just as well Ruby was a man. Otherwise, you'd probably have gone for him too."

Captain James looked down, looking rather embarrassed. This reaction was not lost on Maizie.

"Oh, my God. You did get it on with Ruby, didn't you?" Maisie was wide-eyed in shock.

Captain James nodded. "I'm only telling you this, Maisie, so that we can learn to trust each other."

"You mean in case I find out."

"It's not like that Maisie. You know I deeply care for you."

Despite her shock, Maisie's curiosity got the better of her.

"So what happened between you?"

"I realised I had feelings from him after he treated an injury I had from falling on a cactus."

"Was that on tour in a desert region?"

"No it was in England."

"Eh, in England? Even I know cactuses don't grow in England."

"Haha, cactuses. How sweet, Richards." Smirked Captain James. "Anyway, after Georgie left me, she cleaned out the house. I asked Ruby to come shopping with me to help refurnish it. Ruby is gay and I thought he would have good eye for décor."

Maisie rolled her eyes.

"I fell on a large cactus in a gardening centre. He treated my wounds. He was so strong, yet sweet and tender, I couldn't help falling for him. He took me back to my home in Bath. Then we both ended up together in the bath, where we…"

"Ok, sir." Maisie put her hands over her ears. "I think that's all I want to hear on that."

"I'm just being sincere with you Maisie. You know how I feel about you."

"But I guess you're not together now, right?" Asked Maisie, desperately changing the course of the conversation.

"We stayed together for a few weeks. But we soon realised it wouldn't work. I quickly realised I wasn't gay, or even bi-sexual. Eventually, he left me and took the chest of drawers with him."

"And you took several weeks to realise you weren't gay?"

"You must understand that the situation was very lonely and stressful in Timbuktu. And I was depressed from losing Georgie and my chest of drawers." Said Captain James. "I worked closely with Ruby during the tour and developed a close bond with him as I do with all my medics."

"You don't say."

"I was also still suffering from losing Molly…and my first wife…and Elvis. God that man is so vigorous and gorgeous."

"Elvis? But Elvis wasn't a medic."

Captain James Shrugged. "He was a good friend. And we had a special bond through you, Georgie, Ruby and my first wife. And, of course, he looked exactly like Georgie. Plus, he had an amazing chest-of-drawers."

"Wow!" Said Maisie. "Now that sounds really messed up."

"But everything is clear now, Maisie. I have told you how I feel."

"Yeah, and now you feel that I am the special one, right?" Maisie folded her arms and glared at him.

"I realise you may need time for it to sink in." Captain James put his arm round her and pulled her close. "I know it's hard. Very hard."

"You're not joking." Said Maisie, as she felt the hard bulge in Captain James' pants press against her side.

Maisie pushed him away. "Look, sir. I'm not ready for this. I'm tired after a stressful day and need to go and have a shower and a kip."

"You can always use my shower and bed if you want, Maisie. There's enough room for two."

"Er, no thanks, captain. As you say it's a lot to take in and I prefer to go back to the barracks with the others."

"Are you sure you don't want to come in for a coffee, Maisie. I normally take mine black these days." Captain James took Maisie firmly by the shoulders." I can show you my new mahogany chest of drawers. It's very firm and can take your weight. And it'll be yours one day."

"OK, that's enough, sir." Maisie managed to wriggle free of his grasp. "I'm tired and really can't stand the idea of you slobbering over my tits."

"Haha. I know you're just trying to hide your true feelings with humour. You're attempts at crap jokes is one of the things I love about you, Maisie."

"It's no joke, sir."

"Don't worry, I understand Maisie. It must seem incredible for a working class ethic-minority low-rank female like yourself to believe that a suave and charming upper-class officer like me would be interested in you. But you'll soon come round to the idea. Have I told you how much I feel for you?"

"Er, yeah, sir. You have…several times."

"I just want to make it clear again how strong my feelings are."

"Yeah, it's crystal clear, sir. But I think we we should keep it professional for now."

"I understand, Maisie. You'll need at least a couple of days to get used to the idea. But In the meantime, I will give you all the support you need and will always be there for you. Just remember that when you are working with the NGO, I will always have my eyes on you."

Maisie felt his gaze linger again on her breasts and hips as he licked his lips.

"Always." He repeated.

"Er...right, sir. I'm really bursting for a shit and really need to go now."

After dodging a couple of lunges from Captain James, Maisie eventually managed to get away and ran as fast as she could back to the barracks.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the barracks, Maisie found Kalil and sat beside him.

"Hi Maisie." He said. "How's it going?"

"I've just had a weird conversation with the bossman. He tried to hit on me. I don't know whether to report him for sexual harassment or refer him for a psychological review. Perhaps I should do both."

"Ah, so you resisted the charms of the medic-man." Said Kalil.

"The medic-man?"

"Since the captain got together with Georgie, we call him the medic-man. The captain thinks it's because he has completed his medic training. But it's actually because he tries to shag every medic under his command."

"Why did no one tell me that?"

Kalil laughed and shrugged.

"So much for no secrets in the army." Said Maisie.

"So you're not shagging him, yet." Said Kalil, his voice showing a bit of nervousness.

"No way." Said Maisie. "I told him I didn't want him slavering over my tits."

"Really?" Kalil laughed, the relief clear in his voice."

"There's other men who I'd prefer to do that."

"Any time, Maisie." Kalil smiled.

Maizie slapped him playfully on the shoulder. "I didn't necessarily mean you, Kalil."

"Of course not, Maisie."

They sat in silence for a moment. Maisie looked at Kalil and felt a wave of tenderness for him.

"Remember you asked me if I would like to go to Dubai with you after this tour?"

"Of course, Maisie. You said you wouldn't go with me if I was the last man on Earth."

"Well, after today, I've changed my mind. Is the offer still open?"

Kalil's face lit up with joy. "Of course, Maisie."

"Good, I'll go, but we have to set some ground rules."

"I know, Maisie." He said with resignation. "We'll only go together as mates."

"No, that's not the rule, Rab."

Maizie leaned over and kissed him. "There's only one rule."

"What is the rule?" Asked Rab, a little taken aback.

"Make sure you buy that bloody ring next time." She kissed him again. "And make sure it's a serious piece of bling, OK?"

Kalil grinned with delight.

"Sure Maisie."

THE END.

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note: Some of you may be wondering why I keep referring to the chest of drawers. In one episode, Captain James receives a call from Molly and tells her she can have the chest of drawers. I just couldn't resist it.
> 
> _"If you think you need to take the chest-of-drawers, then...then take them."_
> 
> **Captain James to Molly by mobile phone, Episode 7, Nigeria Belize and Bangladesh Tour.**


End file.
